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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27312013">words i'll never say</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustblossom/pseuds/dustblossom'>dustblossom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>1950's AU, Alternate Universe: no powers, Angst, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Annabeth Chase, Lesbian Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:41:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>497</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27312013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustblossom/pseuds/dustblossom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>this was a mistake, says reyna.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson (Unrequited), Annabeth Chase/Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>words i'll never say</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>this was a mistake, says reyna. annabeth has never seen her look so upset. so she nods, and drives the last piece of hope from her heart. she begins to pull her sweater and jeans on, holding her bra in one hand. reyna stands in the middle of the room, her expression a cross between angry and devastated. </p><p>you have a boyfriend, says reyna. annabeth nods. she cannot look at her, not now.</p><p>why does it matter, annabeth says, not looking at reyna but instead looking out of her window. </p><p>it matters because i’m not some girl who messes around with her straight best friend. It matters because you have a boyfriend, and percy is actually a nice guy. reyna spits the words at her even as she searches frantically for her belongings.</p><p>annabeth says nothing. she cannot. she will simply explode and cover reyna in her agony and longing, and she knows that reyna cannot handle it. </p><p>a long silence falls. maybe i’m not straight, says annabeth. reyna sighs instead, her beautiful face blank.</p><p>i know what you want me to be, she says.</p><p>what. annabeth is dreading the answer the way she’s never dreaded anything before. even the dread of telling percy that she almost certainly isn’t into guys pales in comparison. last night was more proof of that than anything else.</p><p>reyna takes a deep breath. you want me to be your secret, that you drag behind the gym to kiss after you’ve told everybody that percy might propose on your seventeenth.  later, you’ll smile unhappily at me while percy tells everybody about the stupidly pretty names for the stupidly pretty babies he’s planned for you two to have.</p><p>reyna pauses. maybe i’ll get to be the godmother, and when percy goes away on work trips, you’ll kiss me in the kitchen like his children are our children. annabeth can picture this. she wants it more than she wants anything, but she doesn’t have the words for it. she sniffles. </p><p>a tear runs down annabeth’s cheek while reyna cries silently. Have you ever thought about what you want, annabeth? reyna asks.</p><p>annabeth cannot answer. instead, she stares at the peeling linoleum and thinks about the home-economics class that she will have and detest this morning. she thinks of percy, how he will bound up to her and slobber over her cheek, and how she will have to act like she enjoys it. </p><p>reyna turns to her, silent tears running down her dark brown cheeks. i already have too many secrets, annabeth, she says. i can’t be one of yours, too. </p><p>fully-dressed now, she picks up her backpack, which is full of undone homework, and goes to leave. annabeth does not stop her.</p><p>she wishes that she had. but she knows that she cannot. it is simple. she cannot be the woman reyna deserves, because annabeth and the world will not allow her to be. </p><p>with that, she picks up her phone and calls percy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>leave a kudos if you enjoyed it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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